Non-monogamy

Origin and meaning of the term

Non-monogamy combines the Latin prefix "non" (not) with "monogamy" (from the Greek monos, "one", and gamos, "marriage"). The term covers any relationship style where, with everyone's knowledge and consent, you have more than one intimate or sexual connection at once.

In English you'll often see the abbreviations ENM (ethical non-monogamy) or CNM (consensual non-monogamy), both pointing at the same premise: openness as a condition, not an afterthought. A more loosely related, informal term is "monogamish", popularised by sex columnist Dan Savage for couples who consider themselves mostly monogamous but deliberately leave room for the occasional exception.

Non-monogamy within The Pineapple Club

Members mostly come across this term as the umbrella for relationship styles that fit an open-minded life, from swinging to polyamory. Our code of conduct describes how we handle each other's boundaries, whichever style you choose.

For example

Think of a couple who occasionally visit a parenclub together, separate arrangements alongside a primary relationship, or a network of several serious partners. The form varies, the starting point doesn't: everyone knows, and everyone takes part voluntarily.

Want the full guide, including making agreements, jealousy and compersion, and how to start as a couple? Read non-monogamy: ethical, honest and with consent.