Swinging

How swinging differs from other relationship styles

Swinging means having sexual contact with another couple or other people, together with your partner. It's one of the best-known terms within the non-monogamous world. For many couples, it's also the first step towards The Pineapple Club.

Swinging is generally focused on the physical, more than on building separate romantic relationships. That sets it apart from polyamory, where several full-fledged loving relationships exist side by side. It also usually happens together: as a couple you go out together, share the experience together. That's different from some other non-monogamous forms, where partners go their own separate ways.

Swinging at a Pineapple Club evening

There are all kinds of variations: from "soft swap" (only watching and touching) to "full swap", from private arrangements with one other couple to bigger group settings at an event. Making clear agreements in advance about what is and isn't okay is at least as important as the evening itself. Our code of conduct describes how we expect members to treat each other and these agreements during events.

Within The Pineapple Club, swinging is one of the most common reasons couples join. Not as a goal in itself, but as part of a broader, open-minded lifestyle where curiosity and mutual trust come first. Our hosts watch over the atmosphere so everyone feels at ease, including anyone coming to have a look for the first time. That way, everyone decides for themselves how far the evening goes. Wondering how it differs from polyamory or an open relationship? Read our explainer.

For example

Academic research into the swinging lifestyle describes how couples experience it and what motivations play a role, see for example this study in Archives of Sexual Behavior. The broader family of relationship styles swinging belongs to has been mapped out by the American Psychological Association. For many new members, getting acquainted with swinging starts at a low-key event like a Bar Dates evening. Taking it slow comes first there, before anything more happens.

Want the full guide to relationship forms, including making agreements, jealousy and compersion, and how to start as a couple? Read non-monogamy: ethical, honest and with consent.