BDSM

What BDSM means in practice

BDSM stands for bondage & discipline, dominance & submission, sadism & masochism: an umbrella term for play with power, pain and surrender. One partner might find it exciting to be dominant, the other to be submissive, or both switch roles.

A BDSM scene can look like all kinds of things: giving instructions, punishing or rewarding, tying someone up, or simply handing over control. What it always has in common is that it's agreed in advance.

Within The Pineapple Club, members come across BDSM as part of the wider kink scene. Our code of conduct asks for that same care: align beforehand, check in during, and take limits seriously.

SSC: safe, sane and consensual

BDSM isn't about losing control of yourself, but about deliberately handing control over, or taking it, within agreements you make together. Intensity varies hugely: from a playful command to an extended scene with rope, impact play or prolonged surrender.

A safeword is part of nearly every scene: an agreed word that stops everything immediately, no discussion needed. See also our term Aftercare for what happens after a scene.

For example

Think of a couple spending an evening experimenting with roleplay, light bondage and a fixed safeword, or someone stepping into a playroom at a parenclub evening for the first time. Intensity varies a lot from couple to couple, and from night to night.

Note: for background on BDSM and safer practice, see Sense.info (Dutch, independent Dutch youth sexual-health platform).