Aftercare

Why a scene doesn't end at the last moment

Aftercare is the attention and care partners give each other once an intense or intimate scene has ended. The goal is physical and emotional recovery, and a sense that the scene was closed properly and safely.

During intense scenes, especially in BDSM, your body produces adrenaline and endorphins. When those drop away quickly afterwards, it can cause a "subdrop": a flat, sad or tired feeling, even if the scene itself felt good.

At The Pineapple Club, aftercare is part of how we treat each other, both within BDSM and beyond it. Our code of conduct names consent as an ongoing process, and aftercare is the natural continuation of that.

Aftercare looks different for everyone

There's no fixed checklist for aftercare. What one person needs, cuddling, silence, a glass of water, can feel unnecessary or even awkward to someone else.

Research into the wellbeing of people who practise BDSM, including the widely cited work by clinical psychologist Andreas Wismeijer, points to why that aftercare matters for how a scene is experienced overall, not just the scene itself.

Talk about aftercare before a scene starts if you can, just like your limits and your safeword. That way your partner already knows what to look out for, instead of having to guess at a moment when you may be less able to communicate clearly yourself.

For example

Think of lying together in silence under a blanket, a short chat about how it felt, or simply a glass of water and a hug. There's no wrong form of aftercare, as long as it's what you both need.

Note: for more on aftercare and the physiology behind it, see Men's Health NL (Dutch).