Throuple

Three people, equally connected

A throuple (also called a triad) is a relationship between three people who are all romantically and/or sexually connected to each other, unlike, say, a couple with a shared third partner who don't have a relationship with each other. Some throuples are polyfidelitous, meaning the relationship is closed and no one dates outside the triangle, others are open to relationships beyond it with their own agreements about that. Research into relationship structures within the LGBTQ+ community shows that triads form a recognisable, recurring configuration alongside two-person relationships, see this publication. Although throuples get relatively a lot of media attention, they remain one of the less commonly practiced forms within ethical non-monogamy, see also this publication in PLOS ONE on relationship structures within polyamory. A successful throuple requires extra attention to equality: with three people, three two-person dynamics also arise within the relationship, each of which deserves separate attention. A common mistake when forming a throuple is that an existing couple approaches a third person as an addition to what they already have, rather than as an equal partner with their own wishes and boundaries. Our how-to on ethically approaching a third person goes into this in more detail and is also relevant for anyone considering a throuple.

Already mentioned under Unicorn and Polyamory

A throuple already comes up in our term Unicorn, where a couple plus a third person sometimes grows into an equal triad. We also mention the throuple in Polyamory as an example of how diverse relationship styles can be within our community. When a throuple manages to keep all three two-person dynamics healthy, the result is often a relationship all involved experience as particularly stable, precisely because there are multiple people who keep actively checking in with and supporting each other.

Want the full guide to relationship forms, including making agreements, jealousy and compersion, and how to start as a couple? Read non-monogamy: ethical, honest and with consent.