Polycule

The network behind a poly relationship

A polycule is a network of people who are romantically or sexually connected to each other. Dictionary.com defines a polycule as all the people in a network of non-monogamous relationships, and notes that the word is a blend of poly- (many) and molecule, because such a network looks like a molecule with connections. It's a young word, and it has only recently found its way into dictionaries.

Say you have a partner, that partner also has another partner, and that person has a third. Together you form a polycule. Your partner's partner is your metamour. Not everyone in a polycule knows each other equally well. Some are close friends, others rarely see each other, and that's fine.

What a polycule is not

A polycule isn't a group that lives together or does everything together. It's also not a fixed shape. Every polycule looks different and changes along with the people in it. What's more, not everyone needs to be in a relationship with everyone else. Some definitions only speak of a polycule from four people up, but in practice people use the word for smaller networks too.

Shapes of a polycule

• A V: one person with two partners who aren't in a relationship with each other.
• A triangle, where everyone is in a relationship with everyone.
• A chain, where each link is connected to one or two others.

For example

• Two friends share the same partner, but are only friends themselves.
• A group goes on holiday together every year.
• Someone deliberately keeps their own polycule small and manageable.

The word helps because it gives people a simple way to talk about something that is otherwise hard to describe. Instead of explaining who is dating whom, you can say "my polycule" and everyone understands that you mean the wider circle of people connected through love, friendship and shared partners. Many people also use it to describe the feeling of belonging to a chosen family.

Want to read about the basics? Take a look at polyamory.

Want the full guide to relationship forms, including making agreements, jealousy and compersion, and how to start as a couple? Read non-monogamy: ethical, honest and with consent.